Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is many things, but one thing it will never be accused of is being perfect. Or even close to being perfect. Maybe we're asking for too much from a series that asks us to believe the government can cover up the existence of city-destroying robots after their presence is announced to the world via press conference. Maybe we're hoping for more than we should when the movie gives more time to mourn Sam's "death" than Optimus Prime's.
But we have to look forward to something come the third movie. Since Fallen had literally everything but the kitchen sink transform this time around, what could Michael Bay and company bring for a three-peat? We have a few suggestions for what we want to see a few summers from now, and, thankfully, robot scrotums, tube socks containing Matrix of Leadership glitter and the Twins, Skids and Mudflap, are not included.
Fallen Fallout
At the end of TF1, thanks to Prime's spelunking down an office building in the middle of Los Angeles, the world knew that robots in disguise exist, and that they were waiting for more of their numbers to join them. The second movie tried to convince us that you could keep the public in the dark about that which news conferences told them everything about, instead of addressing how both the civilian and military population would adapt to Transformers living amongst them. Sure, Prime and his team co-op with covert U.S. Military to take down bullet-impervious robots with machine guns, but it didn't play as successfully as it should have.
With one of the world's seven wonders turned to dust, and Prime traveling via aircraft carrier these days, the fight with the Fallen is not an event we can categorize as "weather balloon" or "swamp gas". Does the world trust uninvited protectors who destroy most of that which they vow to save? Can Prime order his men to protect a planet that may turn its back on Autobot kind? And what about Cybertron – with the Fallen all sorts of offline, isn't it about time that Prime figure out how to take back his homeworld before Megatrondoes?
We're not asking for Dark Knight pathos and complications, but we do want to see a plot that acknowledges the fallout of the previous films' events. That way, we get a movie that tells both story and spectacle, instead of a movie that ignores one in favor of the other.
Unicron
One could add Superion to take down Devastator, but that wouldn't up the ante enough. We've seen the Transformers combat themselves, but we have yet to see them fight an enemy that threatens to destroy both Autobot and Decepticon, regardless of what side they fight on. Enter Unicron, a Transformer with no allegiances and with only one purpose: Eat planets, harvest their energy, and repeat.
Audiences first met the goateed planet killer in the original animated movie, and let's face it – this guy is meant to be seen on the big screen and IMAX. Unicron sweeping through the galaxy, zeroing in on Earth, would provide a great catalyst for an Autobot and Decepticon team-up, similar to how Xavier's mutants and Magneto's Brotherhood join forces against Stryker in X2. Should TF3 go this route, we might get a movie as good as the X-Men sequel. Which means we could get the best Transformers movie yet.
Speaking of Unicron, his appearance could make Megatron obsolete, in a good way. Last time we saw the Decepticon's fearless leader, he was a few direct hits away from heading to the recycle bin. Damaged and, ahem, one-note, Megatron could find himself in a situation akin to that which brought him to Unicron in the animated movie, where Unicron turned Megs in to Galvatron, in exchange for carrying out some dirty work.
Less Wheelie, More, er, Anything Not Wheelie
In 2009, no one should walk away from any movie complaining about Jar Jar-like characters and moments. Phantom Menace took that bullet so no other movie would have to. But Bay and his trifecta of screenwriters must have been in cryostasis or something during Episode I's release, which can only explain why they included Binks-esque scenes with Wheelie (the Wall-E/Johnny 5 hybrid that called Megan Fox a bitch), the attack of the transforming kitchen appliances, the hip-hop, gold-tooth'd Twins, etc… You'd thing more than $200 million worth of budget would afford you with less opportunities for annoyance, but maybe TF3's $300 million budget can remedy that.
Bay's attempts at Spielberg-cute end up being the exact opposite of that. Stick with showing us umpteenth power shots of helicopters flying in slo-mo and Even Stevens outrunning fireballs. The less obligatory attempts to lure kids in, who will already see the movie and buy the toys anyway, the better the movie can be. And for all six of you Wheelie fans out there who don't like that? Yeah, you're suffering from a severe case of Wrongness. Best get that checked out.
A New Roster
Fallen did right by adding Devastator and Soundwave to the mix. The movies do a solid job of bringing in new characters from Gen 1 lore. A few robots we'd like to see next? Shockwave, of course, especially if it means we get to see him minding the store on Cybertron. We're guessing more Autobots have heard Prime's signal by now, so why not have Hot Rod make his way to Earth? Since the trend with big third films is to lay the groundwork for the torch to be passed, the future Rodimus Prime's arrival could do that easily.
Omega Supreme? Check. Aerialbots? It only makes sense, given the close ties Autobots have with the military. And for Bozon's sake, resurrection ship Jazz. It was a bad call to kill one of our favorites, especially with a very non-hero death. Bring him back to the fold, minus any and all breakdancing, and unleash him on a few choice Decepticreeps.
We can't be the only ones with a wish-list for TF3. What do you want to see and what do you want to see less of? Share your must haves in the Comments and the first person who suggests a Kup cameo gets a gold star.
But we have to look forward to something come the third movie. Since Fallen had literally everything but the kitchen sink transform this time around, what could Michael Bay and company bring for a three-peat? We have a few suggestions for what we want to see a few summers from now, and, thankfully, robot scrotums, tube socks containing Matrix of Leadership glitter and the Twins, Skids and Mudflap, are not included.
Fallen Fallout
At the end of TF1, thanks to Prime's spelunking down an office building in the middle of Los Angeles, the world knew that robots in disguise exist, and that they were waiting for more of their numbers to join them. The second movie tried to convince us that you could keep the public in the dark about that which news conferences told them everything about, instead of addressing how both the civilian and military population would adapt to Transformers living amongst them. Sure, Prime and his team co-op with covert U.S. Military to take down bullet-impervious robots with machine guns, but it didn't play as successfully as it should have.
With one of the world's seven wonders turned to dust, and Prime traveling via aircraft carrier these days, the fight with the Fallen is not an event we can categorize as "weather balloon" or "swamp gas". Does the world trust uninvited protectors who destroy most of that which they vow to save? Can Prime order his men to protect a planet that may turn its back on Autobot kind? And what about Cybertron – with the Fallen all sorts of offline, isn't it about time that Prime figure out how to take back his homeworld before Megatrondoes?
We're not asking for Dark Knight pathos and complications, but we do want to see a plot that acknowledges the fallout of the previous films' events. That way, we get a movie that tells both story and spectacle, instead of a movie that ignores one in favor of the other.
Unicron
One could add Superion to take down Devastator, but that wouldn't up the ante enough. We've seen the Transformers combat themselves, but we have yet to see them fight an enemy that threatens to destroy both Autobot and Decepticon, regardless of what side they fight on. Enter Unicron, a Transformer with no allegiances and with only one purpose: Eat planets, harvest their energy, and repeat.
Audiences first met the goateed planet killer in the original animated movie, and let's face it – this guy is meant to be seen on the big screen and IMAX. Unicron sweeping through the galaxy, zeroing in on Earth, would provide a great catalyst for an Autobot and Decepticon team-up, similar to how Xavier's mutants and Magneto's Brotherhood join forces against Stryker in X2. Should TF3 go this route, we might get a movie as good as the X-Men sequel. Which means we could get the best Transformers movie yet.
Speaking of Unicron, his appearance could make Megatron obsolete, in a good way. Last time we saw the Decepticon's fearless leader, he was a few direct hits away from heading to the recycle bin. Damaged and, ahem, one-note, Megatron could find himself in a situation akin to that which brought him to Unicron in the animated movie, where Unicron turned Megs in to Galvatron, in exchange for carrying out some dirty work.
Less Wheelie, More, er, Anything Not Wheelie
In 2009, no one should walk away from any movie complaining about Jar Jar-like characters and moments. Phantom Menace took that bullet so no other movie would have to. But Bay and his trifecta of screenwriters must have been in cryostasis or something during Episode I's release, which can only explain why they included Binks-esque scenes with Wheelie (the Wall-E/Johnny 5 hybrid that called Megan Fox a bitch), the attack of the transforming kitchen appliances, the hip-hop, gold-tooth'd Twins, etc… You'd thing more than $200 million worth of budget would afford you with less opportunities for annoyance, but maybe TF3's $300 million budget can remedy that.
Bay's attempts at Spielberg-cute end up being the exact opposite of that. Stick with showing us umpteenth power shots of helicopters flying in slo-mo and Even Stevens outrunning fireballs. The less obligatory attempts to lure kids in, who will already see the movie and buy the toys anyway, the better the movie can be. And for all six of you Wheelie fans out there who don't like that? Yeah, you're suffering from a severe case of Wrongness. Best get that checked out.
A New Roster
Fallen did right by adding Devastator and Soundwave to the mix. The movies do a solid job of bringing in new characters from Gen 1 lore. A few robots we'd like to see next? Shockwave, of course, especially if it means we get to see him minding the store on Cybertron. We're guessing more Autobots have heard Prime's signal by now, so why not have Hot Rod make his way to Earth? Since the trend with big third films is to lay the groundwork for the torch to be passed, the future Rodimus Prime's arrival could do that easily.
Omega Supreme? Check. Aerialbots? It only makes sense, given the close ties Autobots have with the military. And for Bozon's sake, resurrection ship Jazz. It was a bad call to kill one of our favorites, especially with a very non-hero death. Bring him back to the fold, minus any and all breakdancing, and unleash him on a few choice Decepticreeps.
We can't be the only ones with a wish-list for TF3. What do you want to see and what do you want to see less of? Share your must haves in the Comments and the first person who suggests a Kup cameo gets a gold star.