Castlevania: Harmony of Despair Coming to Xbox Live August 4th


You know what platformer I cannot stand? Castle-fucking-vania. Now don’t get me wrong- it’s entertaining. The games are usually fun when you get the hang of it, and even though many of them feel indistinguishable, Castlevania developers have done a great job of working in the genre. But that’s not why I can’t stand the series.
I can’t stand it because it’s as hard as a fucking steel sack of bricks.
I have literally never beaten a Castlevania game, despite my many attempts to do so, and I’m starting to think that I am just bad at video games because I can’t do it. I either get stuck, or can’t jump over a certain spot, or outrun a wall that’s closing down on me or something. As a matter of fact, more often than not, I end up shutting down the console (or handheld) in a fury, proclaiming that I will never ever play another game in the series because I have the unreasonable expectation of being able to beat it. But I am done, damn it! I am not picking up another Castlevania game until my IQ and willpower both increase a couple hundred points.
Okay, now what was I saying? Oh right- Castlevania: Harmony of Despair is coming to Xbox Live on August 4th, complete with six player co-op, leaderboards, and a Survival Mode. I can’t wait to play it.

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